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Had a kid in the office today with his 2 Chinese parents. He had a Minnesota license that had obviously been tampered with, the birthday, the expiration date were bleeding and the laminate didn’t have any Ultraviolet security features over those areas anymore, holograms were interrupted.  I asked him for more documents, and his father came to the counter, so i asked to see his license too.

His was good, so I made a record of everything, scanned the kids stuff, sent it down to Olympia for the “License Integrity Unit,” can you say Fraud section, to start looking at.
Then Daddy started demanding why it was taking so long and why couldnt issue on his say so as a Father.
I let my supervisor take over at that point, let both parents yell and shout and bang on the counter about how we were ruining their only sons 21st birthday, and defending his honor against my aspersions that something besides the “washing machine” must be the cause of the bleeding, even though it didn’t effect the rest of the areas of the license information.
I didn’t get a chance to tell them about my walking in the rain around Pullman alone on mine.
But it gave me a bit of time to look at the license scan under magnification.

What I figured out is that the kid, off in Minnesota and New York, had done was to alter his license to make his age over 21, of course it still had a big UNDER 21 above the photo, he had tried to color in the letters, but gave up after the U, he hadn’t matched the color very well.

Now he is back home in Washington, and its now his 21st birthday today, time to go get a real license with his real birthdate on it.
Unfortunately if he shows the altered one where he is already over 21… so he had to re alter it back to his real dates.
Altering Alterations might be an Alliteration, but it also degrades everything around it, hence all the bleeding of the numbers and letters.

Oh to be a spy camera when Mommy and Daddy finally get to here Sonny boys confession that he has been off at college spending his time in such honorable pursuits as breaking state and federal laws by altering legal documents with the intent of breaking open a proscribed cold one.

Will see what Olympia can dig up and slap him with on Monday, probably a whole 90 day suspension, ohhh nooo!

Death not of a Salesman


An Obituary printed in the London Times…..Absolutely Brilliant!!!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Microwaving Water!
A 26-year old man decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but suddenly the water in the cup ‘blew up’ into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand, but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build-up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face which may leave scarring.

He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is a fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc, (nothing metal).

General Electric’s Response:

Thanks for contacting us; I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or tea bag is put into it.

To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it.

Here is what a local high school science teacher had to say on the matter: ‘Thanks for the microwave warning. I have seen this happen before. It is caused by a phenomenon known as super heating. It can occur any time water is heated and will particularly occur if the vessel that the water is heated in is new, or when heating a small amount of water (less than half a cup).

What happens is that the water heats faster than the vapor bubbles can form. If the cup is very new, then it is unlikely to have small surface scratches inside it that provide a place for the bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and release some of the heat that has built up, the liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues to heat up well past its boiling point.

What then usually happens is that the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to rapidly form and expel the hot liquid. The rapid formation of bubbles is also why a carbonated beverage spews when opened after having been shaken.’

If you pass this on
, you could very well save someone from a lot of pain and suffering.


YOU GOTTA LOVE GARFIELD ‘S EXPLANATION — TOO CUTE & ALSO TOO TRUE!!!



A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. 
~~~
Well, there’s a very simple answer.
 
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
 
~~~
We just didn’t know we were getting low.
 
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
 
~~~
Our OIL is located in:
 
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal 
Florida
~~~
Coastal 
Louisiana 
~~~ 
Coastal Alabama 
~~~~ 
Coastal Mississippi 
~~~~
Coastal 
Texas 
~~~
North Dakota
~~~
Wyoming
~~~
Colorado
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
~~~
 
And
Texas
~~~
Our 
dipsticks are located in DC
~~~
Any Questions?

NO? Didn’t think So.


Peeing Pong


Baby Playing Ping Pong!
00:01:35
Added on 2/04/12
29,721 views
This kid is good………….

http://youtu.be/VWKO4YSXfzc


Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here’s a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client:

You have to love this lawyer…….

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual reply from FHA):
“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
(Actual response):

“Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application.
I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France , in 1803 the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain . The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella.
The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus’s expedition…Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?”
The loan was immediately approved.

http://www.newcriterion.com/articles.cfm/Belmont—Fishtown-7250

 

do we evolve or devolve?

or just revolve…

Tips of Safety


Written by a Cop for Our Own Safety
(PLEASE DON’T DELETE, THIS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE)
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life.
In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation…
This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know.
After reading these9 crucial tipsforward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in. 

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.Learned this from a tourist guide.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you….
Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3.If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy..
The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.
4.Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
(DON’T DO THIS!)
The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..
If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF,
Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead gun the engine and
speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat
they will get the worst of it.
As soon as the car crashes
bail out and run.
It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5.A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot,
or parking garage:
A.)    Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at  
the passenger side floor and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.)  Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6.ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7.If the predator has a gun and you are not under his   control,
ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target)
4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.  RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP
It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked for   help into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9.Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her
‘Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..’
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’
He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it
to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby..
He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that
they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.
10. Water scam!
If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a

burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE!These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors!

Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because
the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on
America ‘s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in  Louisiana 

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.

It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read thisIt may save your life or
a loved one’s life.

Loss


10 years ago the USA hadSteve Jobs, Bob Hope andJohnny Cash ….

Now they have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash


The Model T Ford

The year is 1910 one hundred and two years ago. What a difference a century makes!

Here are some statistics for the Year 1910:

**************************************************************************************************************

The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.

Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower !

The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.

The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, A dentist $2,500 per year,
a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about
$5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME.

Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press
AND the government as ‘substandard.’

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

The Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas , Nevada was only 30!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn’t been invented yet.

There was no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn’t read or write and only 6 percent of all Americans had
graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.

Back then pharmacists said, ‘Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health’

( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE
U. S. A. !

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself.
From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD — all in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.