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These are a set of questions and answers that actually appeared on an Australian tourism website. It’s nice to see a government agency that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Note that the nationality of the person asking the question is indicated in parentheses.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK) 
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. 

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) 
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles. Take lots of water. 

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) 
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) 
A: A-fri-ca is the big, triangle-shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific, which does not…
Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in King’s Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA) 
A: Face south, and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) 
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…  
Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys’ Choir plays every Tuesday night in King’s Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK) 
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round? (Germany) 
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) 
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) 
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) 
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) 
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) 
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first. 

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Nevermet Press

Link to Nevermet Press

Sky Admiral Jules Verne vs. Mark Twainbot – A Match of Titans!

Posted: 07 Dec 2011 09:00 AM PST

Verne vs. Twain - A Match of Titans!Sky Admiral Verne vs. Twainbot – A Match of Titans!

SteampunkKindle.com is running a contest: Mark Twain vs. Jules Verne Boxing Match. Vote for who would win, and why – and get a free copy of Stories in the Ether for your Kindle along the way! Here’s the highlight from their blog:

It’s ON! Like Grey Poupon! There’s a battle about to commence- a Battle of The Books! And you will take home the spoils! Our own mascots, Sky Admiral Jules Verne and Mark Twainbot are going head-to-head in a fierce competition for supremacy, and they’re both looking for your support. Cast your vote and add some smack-talk (gentlemanly, of course), and we’ll send you a fabulous Steampunk eBook just for participating: “Stories in the Ether, Issue 1″ from Nevermet Press. Ten lucky winners will also receive“Stories in the Ether, Issue 2″ as well!

Also, a savage beating in the boxing-ring will unfold. You won’t want to miss the hilarious exchange in the running comments stream as our combatants spar verbally; and you are encouraged to add your own contribution!

Visit the original post to ENTER the Sweepstakes and Vote on which on of these Titans will be champion!

Cheers all!

Visit the original post, Sky Admiral Jules Verne vs. Mark Twainbot – A Match of Titans!, at Nevermet Press. Subscribe via RSSTwitter, or Facebook.


Like a mosquito bite, you just have to come back and keep scratching, Jennifer Estep has created an itch that just has to be scratched, over and over again.  Not sure I can wait until the next book comes out!  I just found out that she has some short stories to tide me over.  Check out http://www.jenniferestep.com/excerpts-short-stories/Spider’s Revenge (Elemental Assassin, #5)


 

They have Melissa Knowles in common!

Check her out at
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/ancient-whale-bones-discovered-desert-parents-outraged-hooters-165721306.html?fb_action_ids=2350812807548&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline

Ancient Whale Bones Discovered in Desert, Parents Outraged by Hooters Waitress’s Visit to Special-Needs School

 

 

http://d.yimg.com/nl/ynews/trendingnow/player.html#vid=27339996&playlistId=25040574&autoPlay=true&browseCarouselUI=hide

To get my updates all day, follow me on Twitter @Knowlesitall and “like” me on Facebook!

Paleontologists in Chile have made a surprising discovery in the desert. Scientists uncovered what appears to be a massive graveyard of whale bones in

AP Images

Copiapo, more than a half-mile from the ocean. More than 80 whales, including 25 complete skeletons, were found in one of the driest deserts in the world. There is currently a construction project to widen the highway near the Atacama Desert, where the bones were found. Scientists believe the bones could be between 2 million and 7 million years old. So how did the whales make their way from the ocean to the desert and end up so close to one another when they died? Scientists have many theories: Maybe the area was once a lagoon and it dried up, maybe there was a giant wave that flung the whales onto shore, or maybe a giant earthquake sealed them off. Whale bones were not the only find for the paleontologists. A dolphin carcass with walrus-like tusks was also uncovered. Scientists say this discovery gives them a glimpse of ancient sea life. One paleontologist said, “The fossils are exceptionally well preserved and quite complete–a rare combination in paleontology and one that will likely shed light on many facets of the . . . ecology and evolution of these extinct species.” People on social media are debating creationism vs. evolution theories. Some people are just waiting for a scientific explanation. Still others are saying they should “accept the biblical account of the flood.”

Parents in Clearwater, Florida, are upset after a certain speaker was brought in to talk to their kids at school. Brittany Morgan, a Hooters waitress, spoke during “the Great American Teach-In,” a career event at the special-needs school. Morgan discussed looking presentable at work, tipping, and Hooters charity work with the students at Calvin A. Hunsinger School. She did not wear the Hooters uniform (skimpy orange shorts, low-cut white tank top, flesh-toned hosiery, white socks, and white sneakers) to speak in front of the kids. One parent was still disturbed, saying, “It’s just the wrong message . . . like we’re telling them that you’re the bad kids and this is all you’ll be in life.” Some people on Twitter agree, saying, “Can we raise the bar for kids’ aspirations?” Morgan said she understands why the parents might be upset, but that there was nothing inappropriate about her speech. Morgan added, “Most of us are going to school. We’re aspiring to do other things in life. This isn’t our career.” The principal of Hunsinger, Stephani Bessette, defended Morgan’s appearance, saying “Working as a waiter or waitress to achieve higher goals should be commended.” Hooters states that its mission is “to provide a family of hospitality and services that achieves excellence and enhances lifestyles of all who come in contact with the Hooters brand.”

 


The Grey Days and Nights have descended from Alaska!

The Grey (MOVIE) Who wants to win a The Grey poster signed by Liam Neeson?! Follow @TheGreyMovie on Twitter and RT this tweet for your chance to win!The Grey (MOVIE) Who wants to win a The Grey poster signed by Liam Neeson?! Follow @TheGreyMovie on Twitter and RT this tweet for your chance to win! Twitter / The Grey: RT for a chance to win a @
http://twitter.com/#!/TheGreyMovie/status/137219639846510592
Twitter / The Grey: RT for a chance to win a @ …

… twitter.com RT for a chance to win a @TheGreyMovie poster signed by #LiamNeeson: The Grey is now on Google+! http://t.co/Nj3H4EVt Twitter / The Grey: RT for a chance to win a @ … twitter.com RT for a chance to win a @TheGreyMovie poster signed by #LiamNeeson: The Grey is now on Google+! http://t.co/Nj3H4EVt

http://www.TheGreyTheMovie.com/

The Grey Poster
RT for a chance to win a @TheGreyMovieposter signed by #LiamNeeson: The Grey is now on Google+!gplus.to/TheGreyMovie

Mentioned in this Tweet

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1303879449/


Tor.com
New Story! “Ghost Hedgehog” by Nina Kiriki Hoffman

"Ghost Hedgehog" With all the places ghosts could go, in this world and the next, who do they keep hanging around Jack? From Nina Kiriki Hoffman comes a new short story, “Ghost Hedgehog“!

Nina Kiriki Hoffman’s first solo novel, The Thread that Binds the Bones, won the Bram Stoker Award. Her short fiction has been shortlisted for every major award in the SF and fantasy field. The illustration is by Goni Montes.


It’s the Muppet Week!

It's the Muppet Week!The Muppets is due out just before Thanksgiving, so Tor.com is devoting some time to all things Henson!Muppet Week is here and we’re going to be talking about films, puppetry, and the SFF inspirations throughout Henson’s work. Danny Bowes finds the Rainbow Connection in The Muppet Movie, Chris Lough needs to remind you why The Great Muppet Caper is the best Muppet film of the lot, and Emily Asher-Perrin asks the most important question about The Muppets Take Manhattan – are Kermit and Miss Piggy really married? Ryan Britt takes a look at six SF icons who hung out with Kermit and the gang, and we’ve learned that several Muppets tried out for the part of Yoda before the wrinkled one landed the part: see their auditions! Plus, Bridget McGovern discusses Henson’s first major foray into fantasy, 1982’s The Dark Crystal. There’s more coming all week, so don’t miss out on all the laughs, songs and dances!


Barnes & Noble Booksellers Picks Take a Look at New Releases!

Barnes & Noble Bookseller's PicksThe Barnes & Noble Bookseller’s Picks is taking a look atnew releases this month: Michael M. Jones discusses the continuing adventures of a warrior princess in Mike Shepherd’s Kris Longknife: Daring, Gregory Manchess shares some of the year’s most fantastic SFF art inSpectrum 18, Emily Asher-Perrin talks about the nature of the Force in Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan, and Ron Hogan gives us a vampire dystopia from the brilliant Guillermo del Toro in The Night Eternal. If you want excerpts, we’ve got one from Devon Monk’s Magic on the Line!

While you’re deciding what new books to add to your queue, we’ve got a question for you: what was the very first book you bought with your own money? We asked our readers last week, andwe’ve gotten quite a response so far – chime in with your own stories in the comments!


So Long, Johnny: Kubrick Week Ends

Kubrick's SFFDanny Bowes spent all last week revisiting Stanley Kubrick’s SFF films, but now it’s time to shut down our old friend HAL and send Dr. Strangelove to his top-secret subterranean bunker. In the final installments of the series, Danny praised Jack Nicholson and the visual impact of The Shining, worked through the problematic fever dream that was Eyes Wide Shut, and learned what happens when someone other than Kubrick tries to make a Kubrick film with A.I.: Artificial Intelligence. Don’t forget to check the week’s index for any movies you may have missed!


Girls With Swords and Arrows Set to Dominate Theaters Next Year

The Hunger GamesWe’ve seen quite a few new trailers emerge in the past week, and there seems to be an emerging trend – all over Hollywood, ladies are taking up arms. First, take a peek at the full trailer for The Hunger Games, then head on over to watch a feisty Scottish redhead who’s also pretty handy with a bow in the trailer for Pixar’s Brave. Then, Snow White and the Huntsman and Mirror, Mirror are poised to bring us dueling updates on the same classic fairy tale – watch the trailers here.

In other movie news, it could be that Harry Potter director David Yates is looking to bring Doctor Who to the big screen without building on television show’s continuity (though certain sources are vehemently denying it). Would you go see it? And for SFF at the theaters this past week, our reviewers weigh in on The Immortals and Melancholia!


Tor.com Comes to Google+

Tor.com on Google+We want to make sure you can find Tor.com on whatever social media platform you favor. We’ve been bringing you our content through Facebook and Twitter for some time now, and providing extra coverage from all over the web with our specialized Facebook and Twitter satellite accounts, for fans of Science Fiction,FantasyUrban FantasySteampunkArt, and the Wheel of Time series. We are happy to announce that Tor.com is now available on Google+! So wherever you prefer to hang out on the internet, you can always find you favorite Tor.com coverage.


Ben Stein! The Glass is Half Fool? The Joke is on US! Or on the U.S.?

Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America ..
The following was written  by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday  Morning   Commentary.

My confession:
I am a Jew, and every  single one of my ancestors was Jewish.  And it does not bother me  even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled  trees, Christmas trees.  I don’t feel threatened.  I don’t feel  discriminated against. That’s what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a  bit when people say, ‘Merry Christmas’ to me.  I don’t think they are  slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto.  In fact, I kind  of like it.  It shows that we are all brothers and sisters  celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that  there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach  house in Malibu .  If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me  as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.I don’t like getting  pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting  pushed around for being Christians.  I think people who believe in  God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period.  I have no  idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist  country.  I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it  being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it  another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship  celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God ?  I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too.  But  there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from  and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many  jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little  different:  This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s  intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter  was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her ‘How could  God let something like this happen?’ (regarding Hurricane Katrina)..   Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.  She  said, ‘I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for  years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our  government and to get out of our lives.  And being the gentleman He  is, I believe He has calmly backed out.  How can we expect God to  give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us  alone?’In light of recent  events… terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.  I think it  started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found a  few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we  said OK.  Then someone said you better not read the Bible in  school.  The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal,  and love your neighbor as yourself.  And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock  said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave, because their  little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem  (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide).  We said an expert should know  what he’s talking about.  And we said okay.

Now we’re asking  ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right  from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their  classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think  about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.  I think it has  a great deal to do with ‘WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.’

Funny how simple it is  for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to  hell.  Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question  what the Bible says.  Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail  and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages  regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.  Funny how  lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace,  but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and  workplace.

Are you laughing  yet?

Funny how when you  forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list  because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you  for sending it.
Funny how we can be more  worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of  us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard  it…. no one will know you did.  But, if you discard this thought  process, don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is  in.

My Best Regards,   Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Countdown: M Day! Over and Done.

Tom Kratman makes you sympathize and understand the reasons of the enemy, making it all the harder to see them killed off. War at its Best, War at its Worst, all boils down to Manpower and Money, and the willingness to spend both when needs must.

Over all I enjoyed  the 1st of this series “Countdown: The Liberators” much more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loren Foster aka shadolrds

“From Whom Words Shadow Doles”

/https://shadolrds.wordpress.com


AUTO – LEISURE

Dok-ing XD is a Croatian Electric Dream Car
Published November 17, 2011 | FoxNews.com


FoxNews.com

Some kids never grow up.

Croatian industrialist Vjekoslav Majetic has created an electric car, the Dok-ing XD, which he calls his “childhood dream.” It made its American debut at the 2011 Los Angeles Auto Show.

Just 9 feet long, the futuristic microcar features gullwing doors and seating for three, with the driver in the center and two passengers set back on either side.

The car is powered by a 33 kWh battery pack and either two or four electric motors with a maximum output of 240 hp. According to Dok-ing, the more powerful version can accelerate from 0-60 mph in a supercar-quick 4.2 seconds, the same as the Tesla Roadster, and has a range of up to 135 miles per charge. The slower, but still sporty two-motor model can go 155 miles between charges.

Built on a lightweight aluminum chassis designed in house, the tall and wide XD features a racecar-style double wishbone suspension front and rear.

Dok-ing is planning to build 1,000 XDs for sale in Croatia at a price of around $108,000, but a company rep tells FoxNews.com that it is looking for investors to help federalize the car and set up a manufacturing facility for it in the United States. If successful, it says that it could produce up to 30,000 cars at a price of around $40,000 each.

If that sounds ambitious, keep in mind that the Zagreb company’s main business is building robotic vehicles for firefighting, mining and mine-sweeping that are used by the U.S. and other militaries around the world. Its motto: don’t send a man to do a machine’s job.

And the XD isn’t the first electric sports car concept to come out of Croatia. Earlier this year another Zagreb-based company, Rimac Automobili, unveiled the Concept One, a more traditional-looking sports car that boasts 1088 hp and a top speed of 190 mph.

Read: Croatia’s 190 MPH Electric Supercar

Could Zagreb become the electric motor city? In the battery-powered dream world anything seems possible.

Click here for more from FoxNews.com Autos

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This is going to Hurt You More than it will Me! Or, Wait till my Paw Hits Home!

Guess Who Woke Up on the Wrong Side of the Head this Mourning!

And Typing of Alternate Captions, go see me in the contest!

 

http://promoshq.wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/164532/voteable_entries/36105971